I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
