I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
