i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
