Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
