Just mADE A PArabola og urine
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
