Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.