i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.