you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
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My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?