Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
