This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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