They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
