Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!

Fav 2 1300 1026
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.

Fav 1 1026 1220
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

Fav 29 1095 5022
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.

Fav 6 5645 1270
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Houston, we have a problem

(781): View more from Massachusetts

where are u?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

Fav 44 15834 1886
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.

Fav 15 3558 1414
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(718): View more from New York

I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.

Fav 4 2507 858
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.

Fav 6 785 642
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?

Fav 2 101 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT