So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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