If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
