i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
