But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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