a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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