my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
