dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize