Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize