matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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