We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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