I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
