We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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