I wannas sexs uuuuu
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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