No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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