I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize