shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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