I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
