How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
