I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can I color on your dick again?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
