He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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