you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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