check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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