Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
