My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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