i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
