After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
