I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My feet surprised me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
