Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
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I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
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Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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