I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
