so explain again why im purple
no
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
