But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
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Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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