filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
