i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
