shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
