covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
