I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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