Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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