Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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