You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
