My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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