He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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