Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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