thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
