I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
