So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
