That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
