Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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