so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize