dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
