I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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