So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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