I cockslap morals
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I love having hate sex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
